My oldest son also has some of these behaviors so I understand your concern. My son is 14 now and as he’s gotten older and we’ve been able to talk and bond he’s gotten better about somethings. If it really concerns you you should mention it to your sons doctor or therapist. Honestly in my opinion I think they waited so long to tell you and made the focus of the story mostly about poop was because they knew you’d be upset and they realized they may have done something bad. It’s just my opinion and I don’t know your overall situation or your children personally so you take it as you will. Good luck and remember boys are rough, destructive, and extremely curious