Geez, I am sorry as you just break free from an ex that wants to take whatever he can from you and here you are with your mother doing the same thing basically. Two people that don't respect your feelings and desires but instead look at things for their own benefits. It sounds like your mother doesn't see that house as an opportunity for you at all, instead she only sees it as HER opportunity and investment. And in all honesty, you need to sit down and make a list of everything you put into this house and any money you spent on it too. This includes labor costs even if your boyfriend did the labor, that still has value. You can also take pictures of everything you did as well. If your mother is now paying some so called professional that is costly? Then you deserve the going rate for whatever you put into this little house. Also, if you are paying rent and are paying the going rate, make sure you keep track of what you paid her in rent so she cannot say you worked in exchange to live there.

Your mother is showing you what she cares about by her actions jaymoq, BELIEVE her, otherwise you will end up being disappointed once again. Your mother will want to make money off this investment too, so unless you can pay her fair market value for the renovated house, you will not get it. When you see these so called professionals coming in and doing work and charging these high rates, guess what? Your mother will be looking for that cost to be covered when she decides to part with this house that is HERS. Truth is, as soon as your mother started hiring professionals and taking over where you had no say, you lost that so called dream house as her actions have been showing how she has taken on the whole ownership.

The only way you can possibly win with a person like this is if they want to see YOU be happy and see you as THEIR child where you have more value than some investment house. Sometimes, with a person like this the only thing you can do is make a humble pie and have them sit with you in person and let them know how you are trying to be strong like them and get on your feet and have some things to yourself in your life. "Mom, how can I be more like you and get what "I" WANT instead of having other people plow me over like my ex did?" Sometimes, the only way you can get someone who has some narcissistic traits to see you is to stand next to them with the puzzle in front of the two of you and ask them what they would do to solve it. Try to understand and learn to keep in mind how these individuals tend to be all about THEIR ego and self importance. When a person is like that jaymog, as soon as you challenge them, they are only going to fight you so THEY can win. That is probably why your sister is distancing completely from your mother. It's probably the same reason you are walking away from your ex too. Also why you can't have anything in your name that he could take from you and you do know HE WILL DO JUST THAT.

Sometimes, we lose OUR dream and even our sense of self worth and self esteem because of the people we have around us in our lives. It sounds like you father can see you and sympathize with you, but not your mother. Your mother probably picked him because she knows he will give into her, he is probably passive and sensitive right? Sounds like your father doesn't have the POWER in that relationship either, and it's your mother that RULES in their relationship.

Well, from what you have shared of your mother, you will not win if you challenge her, and I think you already do know this. So, the only thing I can think of that "may" help is if you meet with her over some humble pie. What comes to my mind is that movie "My big fat Greek Wedding". I am thinking about how the mother learned that in order to get what she wanted from the father was to run the conversation in such a way where he thinks it's his idea. She told her daughter, "yes, he may be the head of the family but I am the neck that turns the head".

Some people shy away from doing the humble pie approach because they don't want to hear the truth. The thing is that you cannot avoid the truth and go along thinking you will get what you want and end up once again not having your dream house. You are simply not going to change your mother either, the only thing you CAN do is change the way you deal with her and her tendency to be all about HERSELF.

I hope that helps you jaymog so you can see these kinds of people more clearly where you learn to avoid getting involved with them as they tend to ONLY see their own ego's and needs and not yours. To hope for that to change somehow is wasteful and typically leads to you ending up losing out. This doesn't mean you don't deserve to have what you want either. Yet, when you play with people who just can't see YOU the way you want, often that doesn't turn out well as you have been learning.