(Sorry for my bad english)

Sometimes I have this thoughts
The world is falling down since I lost control on my life. I destroyed everything

I think it reflects the fact that I've been ritired and a lazy watcher in the last years (i am 31 now but in a bad-abnormal professional situation, I never achieved anything-no degree-long-term unemployment) and feel bad for negative things that happened, feel like a burden and starting to have that feel "I'll remove the error"

I'm worried because I see lot of adult people with a much more regular life that seem not to care about the youngest
I see people in their twenties lost, or feeling wasted and I feel guilty for what I have become

Maybe it's also for my recent experience with a psychotic disorder that made me behave in a strange way with a person younger than me and that looked very stressed and after that I couldn't communicate with him anymore since he run away and I'm worried he will have a difficult life and depression and I was for him just another crazy person in this crazy world
I just wish he could heal and hoping for that from distance
This makes no sense but that's the point, I just lost control even on relationship, it's strange

I'm so sorry for this thoughts, the domino effect on things sometimes is terrible and humans should be strong enough to control it and find ways to fix things
And what I learned in my life is that keeping calm is really a way