My mind is stuck in events from IOP today, and I can't seem to let them go. So I hope you guys don't mind me thinking outloud on here.
The program's psychiatrist today met with me for the first time for less than 5 minutes. She prescribed me another medication when I told her I got set up with an outside psychiatrist and met with the man yesterday, who we both agreed that I'd try a medication I've been in before. And agreed that I only want to try one medication at a time before maybe considering an anxiety med on top of it. I feel like the psychiatrist today didn't give me a chance to agree or disagree, and just sent it in after telling me about the med. I'm going to discuss it with her or her intern tomorrow depending on who is there.
She also asked to see my SH, which makes for 2 different psychiatrists in the last week to ask me that. I'm not used to psychiatrist asking to see, especially when I tell them where I cut. The intern psychiatrist didn't ask, but the outpatient psychiatrist last week asked. I know they're there to help, but they can't do anything medically if I showed them. And it feels very exposed since they're all located near my underwear. I don't know how to handle that situation.
At the end of group, a male group member leaned over and hugged me while I was sitting down. No warning, no asking, just did. I understand this is how some people are and he was trying to be nice because he was saying he knew it was potentially my last day. But I am not okay with touch, and I'm pretty sure it's against the rules in the program.
I know these things are minor and aren't deal breakers when I'm fighting to be in this program. It just made for an overwhelming and confusing day.