I wanted to say welcome and I am sorry you and your wife are going through this. Your story reminds me of my parents. My mother became unhappy in their marriage for several reasons. She repressed a lot of it and then she had a manic episode. During her episode she projected a lot of her dissatisfaction in life onto my father. Afterward she decided she would only be able to be well if she were no longer with my father. She felt like he was triggering her issues and I also think she didn't really want to face up to some of her behavior while manic. He saw her differently after she got sick and she didn't like seeing that reflection every day. They ultimately divorced after 30+ years of marriage.

My mother did go on to recover. She hasn't been manic since and all of this happened almost 15 years ago. I think though she realized after my dad was out of the picture that she needed to work on herself. He wasn't the only cause of her problems and she needed to take time to address a number of things to ensure her well being.

I really applaud you for attending counseling sessions and coming here for additional support. I wish my father had done something similar. It took him a long time to make peace with losing the wife my mom was before she got sick. She was the love of his life and he felt like mania ripped her away from him. I imagine you might be feeling something similar. I understand this feeling too. My mother was also triggered by me and walked away from me until just recently as well. It hurts and all I wanted was my mom to go back to the way I remembered her when she was well. She was a happy go lucky positive person who was incredibly smart. It was just so hard to accept the change.

The good news is she did heal. She did come around in time. She just needed the space to do it. My best advice is to give your wife room to find herself again. She may need time alone. My heart goes out to you because you also have to worry about keeping your young children safe, so you do have to watch her closely. Just try to give as much latitude as you can and love her from a distance for a while. People say and do strange stuff when they are manic or depressed, but there's often truth at the root of it. She's asking for space, so your challenge is to find a way to honor that while honoring your own needs.

I am hopeful for you and your family. I wish you all the best. Blessings.