my parents didn't understand mental health either

my mother was absolutely the worst at trying to understand, using all kinds of excuses of why it could be happening- usually it's " because you're awkward," or " because you're bored.", she was never really their for me (we're no longer in contact, she is alive but in a diffrent part of the world).

my problem is that I have absolutely no interest in life, and when you have no interest in life, it just gets you down- as you're constantly searching for what ever it is to make you happy

I failed school because I spent most of my school days in hospital

I've been told that I can't work

I don't own a pet (and the reason I don't own a pet is because I can't even fully look after myself,) it would be unfair on the animal to give it less than it deserves

I'm not with anyone (because I can't tolerate people.)

and basically I have had 0 experience in anything. I'm 25, and I only recently discovered what a park was and went on the swings (kids do that with their parents). I've never even been on vacation or at least to a seaside.

and you know what?

for the most part, I don't care about it

I failed school- who cares. I can't work- who cares. I don't own an animal- who cares

when you " don't care" about life, it's hard.

I've been down the whole suicide root,


I can't even get that right, though and it sucks that I just go from feeling depressed in a hospital, to wanting to no longer be here, to feeling depressed in a hospital again.

once I even got mad at the nurses for saving my life. I just wished they would leave me alone (looking back on it I have absolutely no regrets,), because all those 5 times I was generally sick of my life and needing a way out.