Hello SB: I noticed this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to Psych Central. The Men-Focused Support forum may also be of interest to you. Here's a link:

https://psychcentralforums.com/men-focused-support/

I think the only thing I could suggest, with regard to this, would be to seek the services of a mental health therapist who can work with you on your relationship anxiety issues. Here's a link to an article by our host Dr. John Grohol, Psy.D., from Psych Central's archives, on the subject of relationship anxiety plus links to 2 articles on attachment styles:

What is Commitment Phobia & Relationship Anxiety?

What Is Attachment and Why Is It Important?

What's My Attachment Style and Why Does It Matter? | Happily Imperfect

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.