Hello all, I'm new here... 31-year-old.

Nine months ago I entered into a relationship with a girl who seemed to have everything together... smart, funny, beautiful... and different personality type than mine. I learned she had been sick for quite some time... battling constant fatigue to where she could not work (by her opinion)... She is also a mother to a 4 year old. She lives at home with parents, doesn't work, and also does not have a car.

Getting into the relationship, I figured... okay, this girl is just having some hard time in her life... I want to give her the love and support someone needs during those times.

Well... this is when a lot of red flags started popping up. She was "sick" - but yet, she was not proactively doing anything to figure out any kind of diagnoses. She would just stay around the house... snacking, giving her son attention, and pretty much watching podcast or using social media.

I attempted to encourage her to get some help, I took her to doctors after doing some research on what her illness could possibly be... but she only followed up when I really got on her.

It seemed like she had no motivation to really get better.

Also, this was a girl who didn't have any girl friends... she only spoke to guys, and these guys happened to be the ones who she previously had flings with for the past few years. Before she met me, she said she had what she calls a "hoe phase" ... I told her keeping in constant contact with these guys during our relationship made me uncomfortable. She told me she would cut off contact, especially with the ones who were trying to encourage her to cheat... or who were still trying to get with her.

Time goes on... a few months in, and her baby's father is over visiting their son. She tells me that he tried to kiss her... and she pushed him away.

Well... months later... this week... I find out there's a bunch of lies... she pretty much lied about everything. She kept in contact with the guys who she previously had flings with... One of them actually came to me to let me know how her actions were... sending me screen shots and such. Their conversations were emotionally cheating on me pretty much... no doubt about it. Sexual comments and jokes... flirtiness..

Also, come to find out... she did kiss her baby father and lied to me about it - as well as hook up with another fling and lied as well during a "week break" when we were trying too figure things out.

All in all...I feel like it was lie after lie after lie... and I went against my gut feeling about her, because I gave her the benefit of the doubt. She always managed to twist things to make herself the victim... such as, when I would ask her to go out with me... do things... she always claimed she was too sick, and I was being selfish.

I started Therapy a month ago to "fix myself" thinking I was the cause of my anxiety and everything was in my head... and turns out... my intuition was all correct.

Once I found out about the lies, I confronted her on the phone to where she confirmed everything. She gave the excuse of she didn't tell me because she was afraid of how I would react. Her excuse was always due to the baby's father blowing up violently on her during arguments.. and in ours, I never raised my voice to her.

It's over now. I know I don't want her. I realize she manipulated a lot of things and it was all about her.

I'm having trouble with my mindset though... my appetite has been next to nothing for three days now; trouble sleeping, and my mind keeps wanting to bounce through memories of the relationship as well as picture her cheating on me...

I know it takes time to heal, to eventually forgive to be able to move on... my fear is that the way my mind thinks - I feel I'll keep obsessing about the issue, rather than letting it go.

Dealing with the "void" and the fact that I put so much of my life aside to help her with her life and her son... it just eats at me inside.

I work odd hours, Noon to 9pm... so getting out at night for events to where I can socialize with people is rough...

So my question for you guys is... what has been your trick to overcoming toxic relationships... What were your remedies to easing the thought process, and switching up your mental mindset from negative to positive thinking? Did you do any activities by yourself? I'm open to any and all suggestions...