OK, so I really dig that's what happened to me as well, or part of what happened. However, one of the ways I have dealt with the scars is by forgiving my family for the things they did and say when I was growing up. In fact, my disfunction started way back when I was 10 years old. I was raped at knifepoint, and that really messed things up for me since then. My family turned into control freaks because they did not want me to experience another traumatic event like that. It was also traumatic for them too, I must say...
I guess what I'm trying to say is that by forgiving your abusers, you relieve yourself from some of the pain that you carry around in life.

I understand that I am going to make wrong decisions sometimes and I'm going to make right decisions at other times.
I just have to continue to find a way to not be so afraid of making the wrong ones...

But, for me, it was important to forgive my family. It has become easier over time to not hold as much hate towards the guy that abused me without my consent.