I hear you! You're not alone in your struggles, @charlie242, and I understand why you feel this way! Like sarahsweets has already wisely said better than I ever could, there's nothing inherently wrong with taking meds, although I guess that you're mostly referring to the side effects. Remember that it's your Pdoc's job to help you find the best possible meds combination for you so that you'll be able to lead a regular Life. Yes, it can get frustrating, but I think Life is worth it. Yours certainly is! You deserve to live a good Life just like everyone else does. Please be kind to yourself, ok? Things will get better! I'm sure of that! Please remembr that you're stronger than you think! You know that's ABSOLUTELY true! You matter, you're strong, you're WONDERFUL, you're worth it and you are important! You kno wALL of this is ABSOLUTELY true! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH You, @charlie242, and ALL Of Your Loved Ones! PLEASE KEEP FIGHTING AND KEEP ROCKING LIKE YOU'RE ALREADY WONDERFULLY DOING ALL AND ENTIRELY BY YOURSELF!