It occurred to me last evening, when thinking about what else is missing with this therapist. She never says my name at all. Mentioning my name is bridging the gap between two people, I believe and is an important part of any conversation. When I get up to leave, I have a tendency to shake the hand of either a doctor or therapist in appreciation for their service. This therapist puts her hand behind her back. Then she closes the door immediately on my heels and I am left alone to wander the hallways to find my own way out.


When she came out the door to greet me on Monday, which she is as tall as the door, she scanned the room and apparently didn't recognize me and walked back inside. I had to get up to tell the receptionist that I was there. When she came back out, I got up and walked towards her and she didn't recognize me until I told her my name. She let me in first and as I was walking down the hallway (there are many hallways in this practice) she got annoyed with me that I turned the wrong way. I heard her utterance in a hissing manner. Next week, I will let her go first. She also mentioned that the rollator I use for balance is now called "the monster in the room" or "that thing" that barely fits. I didn't appreciate that. I guess she doesn't like me bringing my rollator into the room. Now, the psych doc I am currently seeing at another practice, won't let me wheel my rollator into his room either, so what's up with that?

I have a list of questions for her next week, so I will not be talking about myself, I want to know about her, her style of therapy, if she does EMDR and how she helped the PTSD survivors coming back from overseas and other trauma survivors. I want her to set up a plan for me with goals, etc. I need structure to my session with her and I need to know what to expect from her. I want to know what she can do for me. Even though I am looking for another therapist, I do want her to understand that I am in control of the sessions and I will not tolerate her gas lighting. I will address her comment that "I enjoy my depression and what would it be like to live without depression" and how inappropriate that comment was. At this point, I don't care if she doesn't like the session with me or dismisses me, I want her to understand that my needs are not being met so far and what my expectations with a therapist are going forward. Then I will take that odd picture and turn it around so I don't have to look at it.


Birdie