Thank you for sharing your pain. I'm so sorry you had to endure all of this abuse.  Here's a link to a blog, here on PC, that may be of interest to you:
Knotted: The Mother-Daughter Relationship
I hope being here on PC will be of some comfort & support for you. 
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"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last)
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