Thank you very much. I had therapy today and we talked all about the recent fight w/ my husband. She had a few great suggestions. He and I have talked since, he claims not to feel heard at times, as do i. Something we are going to do is schedule a time once / week where we have a relationship check in.

About the baby and the job. I think he is terrified of being the sole provider and I don't think we can afford him to be the only one working. His expectations on me are not huge. He would like me to pitch in. Like recently I left a job that was too stressful, he was completely understanding of it, and said if I could get to the point where I feel better (mentally) it would be great if I can work 20 hrs/ week. I have a job working at home doing my dads books. so that seems to be good enough for him.

However, I am the one who has been really lonely, bored and unsatisfied. Not sure if its the pregnancy hormones, the loneliness, the Previa I had/have, the meds change, living in a new town and not knowing many people... So, really I don't know if being home 100% is for me I don't think its good for me TBH. The good news is- and I should have elaborated on - I did a lot of work looking for the right job, super close, super flexible etc. I think I found it! Its a local firm, they are starting me working at home, and then I will take off 6 months after baby is born. I will then start working from home again, for the next 6 months, and then if I feel ready, at 12 months I might go in 2-3 days / week and I would find a daycare that is super close by. The lady who hired me is younger then me and has a kid and wants more. So, she seems to understand my need for flexibility so I hope I like it. However, if baby is not doing well, if it doesn't make sense financially, if I am not ok with it mentally, you bet I will be telling my hubby this is not working.

I already started reading reviews and researching places. It does break my heart thinking of putting a 1 year old in day care, but it would be part time. Likely 2x week maybe for the first year, many women I know put their kids in way sooner which to me is crazy. Then the rest of the time I would have him home with me. Or maybe I would find an at-home helper to allow me to work home but have some assistance. It would really all depend. But I am quite excited also to develop and not lose my intellect and skills that I worked hard in school and at other jobs/trainings to learn. I need to figure out a balance.

Also, he is European and his Mom had free day care for her kids after 1 year old. I think he kind of feels that's is ok b/c she did it that way.

As for your questions they are valid and I appreciate them b/c im first time mom, so Im a complete and utter newbie lol. So, as far as who would pick up baby, if they were sick, likely if baby is sick I would reschedule and stay home with him. Thats what is nice about part-time and flex schedule. If there was an ER I would pick up likely b/c im planning on putting him in a very closeby daycare. But these are all great questions you mention- I will bring them up at the right time w/ Hubby...

Gosh it seems a bit overwhelming but mostly I am extremely excited for this new chapter. (when im not battling my depression/moods)

Thank you for your response