H was saying he hates that I "get better" the closer my appointments, today I'm the most stable I've been in a while. He's okay with me having weekly appointments right now. He's concerned. He wants me on more medication. He doesn't know I was so scared that I was crying yesterday. I have an appointment the 5th also. This all seems so far away. I know they really can't help right now. I'm wearing headphones blaring music to keep the voices out. It's so ****en tiring your mind running all the time.