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Very down tonight. It's like I was built up in his mind just to bring me down. I know I have some big faults. He brought them all up again. I know that I'm not good enough anymore for anyone. I feel so very alone, yet there are people who'd be willing to help me but I don't know them, nor is it a good idea at all.
I have to stay with this man until I can figure out where to go. I feel like I'm suffocating but I know this is supposed to be natural to get over.
He does. Why was I born so sensitive? I want to be someone who can throw up their hands and say "I just don't care anymore, and I can do this on my own."
I've been through so much that not one single person could understand from my view.
I want to start writing a book. Get my own little space. Yet I love him even though he's not loving me anymore. I want out... I'm not talking about completely out of this life, but at times, I feel like it would be peace. Peace for others as well. I'm only hurting myself more by not getting over this.
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