Greetings, Tryingtobecomehuman. Welcome to Psych Central. This place has been a god-send for me, over the years. Hopefully it will be for you as well. Being disabled but not receiving benefits is a huge battle all in itself. As CandC suggested, try finding an advocate to help you get benefits. Consider contacting a lawyer that specializes in disability claims, also. They can be of immense help - fighting the battle for you. Most don't need to be paid up front - they'll take payment when you finally get awarded disability. Worth considering. Having lived with CPTSD for years - I can tell you that it CAN get better than what you are living with now. Some of what I saw as "damaged", in myself, I now see as strengths. I no longer see myself as "victim" - but "survivor" - which means I am strong enough to overcome a LOT. I survived my experiences, after all - and so did you. Yeah, we have our internal battle scars - but that's ok. I, also, still have issues with noisy, crowded places. Among many other things. ;-p But, that is something that has gotten easier to deal with over the years. Which goes back to, things can get better. Time alone helped me heal to a point, just like a physical injury. Then, it was like physical rehab - I would expose myself to noisy, crowded places....knowing I could leave at any time. Sometimes I still do leave. Sometimes just moving away from the noise for a short period of time is enough, and I can "rejoin". Hang in there. You're not alone. You've all ready survived some pretty horrid stuff - so now, picking up the pieces, dealing with it, moving on? Yeah, you can do that too. Oh - I also have no insurance. I receive my counseling thru my county mental health facility - and they are wonderful people. Check and see if your county offers something similar. Even if you don't qualify for other services, based on income, you might still with this. Each agency seems to have different criteria.