Hi Razzleberry! I feel like I'm reading my own biography - I sure can relate -I understand EXACTLY what your saying. You've probably experienced "if only you aapplied some willpower!" speech right? Yep, been there. People have no idea. I binged, no purging just like you, ~30 yrs! What FINALLY worked for me?? (1) I joined Overeater's Anonomous-like AA - I had it and (2) I lived "JUST FOR TODAY" I posted this in the PC Depression Forum, go there & under resources & online help, I would print this out for yourself & live 1 day at a time, forget yesterday,it's gone, tomorrow's not here yet so no need to worry. TODAY. Just follow the little print out. Binging "coping skill" started ~age 20,I have not binged in last 5 yrs (maybe a day during holidays but I get right back onto good nutritional eating)!
Result: I'm 5'10",a size 12 for 5 yrs.now, & I'm literally 1/2 the woman I used to be(was close to 300 lbs.it was hardly Secret binging) Great for self esteem too. PM me if you'd like I'll help you. **Be kind to yourself, (no more put downs,ok). I'm here for you!