The thing is, silverqueen, that i'm not getting any help. So far, the only others who know about my SI are the people on this website.
Many times, i've considered talking to my mom about how i feel--not about my SI, but about the feelings that have led to SI. I figured that if i was to tell her about my feelings, the SI part would come later; i wouldn't want to tackle the whole thing all at once. But each time i've come remotely close to telling her, i back out, and i just can't. Then i start thinking, "well, maybe if i keep it a secret until i leave the house, then i can get help for it once i'm gone, and she may not ever have to know." But it's hard keeping my feelings a secret--it's not hard to hide it, it's just hard to keep it inside.