You know what... thinking of this from outside the box (a 60's term), what if all these gory details were her way of her asking for help? The stretching out of fingernails towards me, the fractured picture that faces me, and all the other stuff that is very inappropriate. Just a thought. In any event, she is no longer in my life to do any further harm and I will find a way to take care of this with the company she works with. I will be seeing the psych doc later on next week and it may come up that I canceled my appt with my therapist, that might open the door for a discussion about her inappropriateness.


Now, I am scared to face another therapist or psych doc, all this unnecessary drama and fright. Why did I have to experience all this, is this what mental health is turning into now... a constant parade of nonsense and nonsensical behaviors? There appears to be no more gatekeepers for those of us who have a fragile sense of self. Why go out of her way to frighten a patient like this... wearing stark red lipstick or blue/black lipstick and sharp long red nails, crazy mixed up colors for clothing and hissing and making suggestive remarks and that picture she had facing me.... shivers.


I didn't realize just how bad all this was until I wrote about it here. In a few short visits, all this went on. I have to re-evaluate how I allowed someone to violate my boundaries in this manner. Sometimes it's best to just do pod-casts, YouTube and read all the skills I need instead of putting myself in harms way like this.


I want to thank all of you for reaching out to validate what I put out here. Your support and kind words really helped get me thru the worst of it so I could make a healthy decision to not go back. Thank you for helping to normalize and balance out what I needed to hear and think about.


Birdie