</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Perna said:
I think it is bad form to put all the problems of the marriage on one partner, make them look like if the children have trouble it's that partner's fault.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">Perna, I think I gave a bit of a warped view of the meeting by only reporting a corner of it. This was a 3 hour meeting in which we discussed many topics, and we had previously had another meeting too. Two important topics were my H's anger toward the kids and his exposing them to his pornography. These two have been wrapped into dreams my youngest girl is having showing extreme anxiety over these topics. We were discussing this and ways to deal with it in the family. My T was telling us how he works with people all the time as adults who come to him with very similar childhood experiences and there they are in therapy never having resolved this stuff. He was trying to show my H how early events can shape the adult. And he suggested that some action now with the girls can have a profound effect on the future emotional health and life decisions. Perna, we definitely did discuss other issues in which I was more of a player than my H and in which I need to improve. I don't think either my H or I felt that T was singling out him to blame for everything. The discussion was so important around the anger and porn issues because these could potentially affect custody decisions, and that is a main thrust of our meetings--how the legal stuff will play out.