I feel awful. I feel sad and depressed and alone. I don’t pity myself. If only a day could go by when my eyes don’t open. I told a dying man that he should fear death and not life. Regret and insensitivity. Not to mention my total disregard for his privacy, my efforts were not productive. I couldn’t know how he feels. Maybe I am jealous of his attention. Maybe he does not like all that attention. Yesterday, I was fatigued and I think am loosing my mind. I can’t see things clearly. Everything is a blur. I feel like a robot. My limbs do not feel attached anymore. I loose track of time. Nevermore than a few minutes. One minute I am here and the next, -gone. It is so easy to forget to remember. But I wish I could remember to forget.