I am the grudge holder in my family... want to know the secret... I hold grudges because it is more socially acceptable than admitting the truth... which is that I just don't like the person but know that i am stuck with them as they are family. It is a good way to keep them away from me and not admit the problem is more long term. There is a lot that goes on in our society today because people are not really allowed to not like other people.