Quote:
Originally Posted by Emily Fox Seaton
I am the grudge holder in my family... want to know the secret... I hold grudges because it is more socially acceptable than admitting the truth... which is that I just don't like the person but know that i am stuck with them as they are family. It is a good way to keep them away from me and not admit the problem is more long term. There is a lot that goes on in our society today because people are not really allowed to not like other people.
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I appreciate your honesty about your situation. It's interesting to hear from someone on the other side of this and what goes through their mind to cause this behavior. I suppose if you've got someone in your family that you don't like but are stuck with, as you say, that that would be one way to not have to deal with them. Seems like it would be exhausting though. When someone is in your family you're going to have to see them from time to time. As for my grudge holding SIL.....I feel 100% that her grudge holding is because she is a controlling narcissist who can only accept you and like you if you submit to her at all times. In other words, you give up your rights as a free thinking human being and just tell her she's "right" all the time. My BIL is a human robot around her who only asks "how high?" whenever she says "jump". And that is no way for a human being to live.