I want to tell you all who took the time to provide insight...THANK YOU! And thanks for the little story about the scorpion and the frog, Poshgirl. The other side of this for me is that it is very painful to watch people who have to live with the grunge holder walk on egg shells all the time. They have no human rights when they are around the grunge holder. They know with one wrong move, they will feel the wrath. My husband and I refused to allow ourselves to be treated like that, which is probably why my SIL unleashed her grudges on us for multiple years. And my SIL honestly has no clue about they way she treated us, SHE THINKS SHE"S RIGHT! All I can say is what a tragedy to behave and think that way. And also what an exhausting life for my BIL to always have to make sure he's obeying the grunge holders orders. Oh well, that's not my problem.