I am really suffering greatly with regard to other people and I am just utterly lost.

On the one hand, I feel like I have zero friends. No one really wants to be my friend and no one seems to care about me in any significant way.

On the other hand, I feel like I have an endless stream of people that I HAVE to let into my life. That seem to want to be friends with me and can't take the hint. And the worst part, I am some how taken to task for not sucking it up and hanging with them.

One of the worst things is the term people I work with. I work with people who work with me for about 1 year. When they come in I am expected to welcome them and be nice and, of course, I do that because I have to work with them... but my boss never cares about my imput on the matter ahead of time. He just hires whomever no matter how toxic.

I have tried my best to be nice but to nicely let them know I am not interested in being their friends really and they just don't get the hint and get offended when I make it clear I am not interested -- for real. One reason I am not interested is that it is a one way street. They come to me for help and I get nothing for them.

This week one of these people came back to visit and I bumped into her awkwardly but, it didn't really bother me. I was nice to her when she worked with me but clear from the start that we weren't going to be buddies going forward. And again, this is my workplace, why is she there? But clearly she is offended by this and my boss actually said something like I was living dangerously ghosting people that still work in town. I let it go like a joke but I was furious. This particular girl was always a psycho and you made me work with her for a year. Ghosting is not being forced to work with someone and then when you are done working with them stopping talking to them. That is NORMAL.

Then the other one came down to talk for about an hour... I do not understand why she feels she has the right to do this... and also, that we are friends. I have been very stand off ish from the start and often if I go up to visit I have an excuse to leave. What I talk about is often stupidity because I want the conversation to end...

So I can't figure out what I need to do here.

1. Be friendlier give in and allow people to use me. I have been operating under the idea that if I am stand offish that people won't use me.. but basically I seem to do as much work dealing with all of the repercussions of them trying to use me...and trying to keep them away - as if I just was nice and went along.

2. Be even less friendly. Be open and honest and tell them the frank and honest truth. If they come to my office to talk just get up and say "I have work to do" and shut the door. Sure they would probably hate me but, they only work with me for a year so...

Most of these people come down or want to be friends for toxic purposes... they want to complain about their co worker or my boss or the interns or whatever.

I am getting a new one this week and he will be the first man. It is my hope that things will be a little different but we will see.