I had to swallow that same pill at the age of 38. I have a lot of great qualities, but I have some incredible weaknesses. I am working to be honest with myself about them so that I can turn them into strengths. It is absolutely scary how fast things can fall apart. I have great empathy for what you're going through. A strong person admits their faults and you've done exactly that. Kudos to you.

My mother was 55 when she had her first episode. She was my role model and she was/is amazingly strong. It blew us all away to think she could get out of control so quickly. Then it happened to me years later. I still don't understand it, but I'd be a fool not to accept it and strategize ways to do it better in the future.