So it's over, I called her up and ended the friendship and blocked her but it was a short calm civil phone call and I told her I will let her go, she did not tell me she had to go but we talked about our day before this took place and she told me updates on what's happening in her life. Apparently this whole time I had way different expectations then she did, she does not wanna hang out with friends often and still wants to pay me back and got annoyed when I told her I am just letting it go (the money, she asked me what's going to happen about the payments). I told her I needed a break (but I ain't coming back). Told me she hopes it's not a long break and she will respect my decision and still wants to hang out and enjoy eachothers company, text, talk on the phone when I decide to come back and wishes she could pay me outright. Told her how I wanted to hang out more and she told me she wanted to hang out more, she thought we were with every 2 months? she's not into once a month or a few times a month, she is busy with things (but family and boyfriend take up her time, so lies there).

Told her how it feels so 1 sided because everything is relied on only me, we only communicate if I text her, only hangout if I ask to hang out, only talk on the phone if I wanna talk on the phone and said it should not be 50-50 obviously but maybe 70-30? and she said she understands how it feels and knows it feels like the other person doesn't care but doesn't mean to offend me. Well guess what? it's bloody offending (never said that). She also said when we resume being friends she hopes I will be ok with only hanging out every couple months like everyone else she is friends is..

If friendship means **** to you and you're not a priority, I rather just find people that do value that stuff then waste my time then being a joke to someone I truely cared about. I guess I really am the joke, huh? Yes I am very bitter and told her it's better we take a break. She was not sad or angry, was very neutral about all of this.

As for the person asking how I knew about her troubles...I text her and she told me it was her turn in the hospital. Then I am like "OMG are you alright" or along those lines (it's on my old phone I don't use). I asked if I can visit her, she said no there is too much going on and is good with only her family seeing her. I stayed texting her every couple days for a month and a half asking about her and she was still in hospital, asked again if I can see her, it is no trouble to me and it would be great seeing that she was ok, refused me AGAIN! but telling me I am the best and the only person that asked her to come see her make sure she was ok. When people question friendships because the friends did not see them I laugh and think to myself "try having a friend refuse you to see them in the hospital".

I guess now I am done here, I ended the friendship so nothing left to talk about.