Quote:
Originally Posted by lizardlady
I had to read and come back to this thread several times. Thank you OE for a reasonable reply. It helped me get my own reaction under control.
To the OP. You mentioned in your original post that you told your T that you were "overly fixated" on this woman. You also said you were worried that you were making her uncomfortable. Seems like you were correct. I'm sorry you got called into HR and feel unsafe as a result. Can you talk to your T and treat this as a learning opportunity? You also said you can't trust your instincts. Seems like your instincts were spot on when you thought you were making her uncomfortable.
As for other posters in this thread who denigrated the young woman for going to HR -shame on you! She followed protocol for most companies be going to HR with her concerns. She was uncomfortable with the OP's attention. She took appropriate steps. There are plenty of reasons why she might not have confronted the OP directly.
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Thank you, Lizardlady for saying this. I, too, was upset by people for villianizing the young woman for taking appropriate steps. I don't believe the OP did anything wrong, and I think the young woman possibly misinterpreted his intentions, but going to HR was completely appropriate. It was not running to "mommy and daddy." The possibility that was likely occurring in her head was not someone ate my ice cream, but someone might attack me.
To the OP, I'm sorry you experienced this and that you are struggling. I do think it's good you continue to work on this with your therapist, but it also sounds a little bit just like unfortunate circumstances of lack of social skills coupled with unintentionally being in the same places as her. It sounds like HR understood that it was mostly coincidental. I'm sorry this seems to be giving your self-esteem a hit. Do you do any social, recreational activities to exercise your social skills? Doing things like singles meetups and group activities will likely help you make friends, build social skills and self esteem, and not feel so awkward when talking to women.
I will admit that the line between awkward and creepy when a man talks to me is subjective, so he might just be awkward, but it makes me unsettled, so the more confident you can be in your interactions, the less likely this will continue to be an issue, in my opinion.
Again, sorry you're going through this unfortunate situation. Try to give yourself a break. You didn't mean any harm, and most of the problem was coincidental.
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