As I have gotten older, I tend to stay on the depressed side more and am a little less manic. The deeper the depression, the deeper that I tend to retreat into solitude.


When I am deep in it, I cannot process people. I am overwhelmed by too many stimuli and simply do not put myself out there. Granted, I know it is not the best way to deal with things. However, it is the structure of my coping mechanisms and probably actually saves me from a lot of undue stress. I just cannot handle any sort of pressure when I am in despair. I will not even sign into the forum.


I find great comfort in accompanying my husband on errands and such when I am not so depressed. However, the anxiety and panic attacks keep me from doing much by myself even when I consider myself in a sort of recovery period.


I think the key is to find a way to love yourself when your mind allows you to and roll with the punches when it doesn't. You can love yourself by taking on a new hobby, taking an online class, reading a good book or even cooking yourself a great meal. There are lots of ways to turn isolation into solitude if you feel the need to be alone for a while.


There are always two sides to a coin. I wish you the best.