I feel like writing a lot. Because I have a lot to say. My mind is like asjfkafjka bfjksjf fjaf jkfjfk....

I'm trying to organize my thoughts. They are scrambled. I have so many things to do. The phenibut stopped working. I hate xanax cuz it makes me feel numb.

I need to organize my notes. I have hundreds of notes that I need to read and organize.

I'm not eating and want to research more about fasting, meditation, spirituality, philosophy... Addiction is complicated. This is what people with my personality do. They torture themselves by sacrificing pleasure for future. But also sacrificing future for pleasure by failing.

All my thoughts are scrambled eggs and meaningless. I feel like I don't have enough time to learn. I have so many things to do. Investing, podcasts, trying to learn skills, reading books..

I'm overwhelmed because I can't relax. I put pressure on myself. I want to make connections with family. I have to get a job. I have a doctors appointment tomorrow morning and a therapy and psychiatrist soon after and I don't know what to say. What do I say? I need to talk with someone for a few days for them to know what's really going on inside my head.