Well, I don't know if Earthmama is still around to check replies, but I for one was disturbed by the story of her husband.

It's natural to want to please your husband, but your husband trying to make you fatter and fatter to please his sexual desires (while you don't want to get too fat) is psychotic. Would you please him if he wanted the opposite - you starving yourself to near death?

I think it would be a good idea to bring up the porn searches to your husband. Frankly, I don't think it would even be that embarrassing to him, especially since he's trying to get you to satisfy his fantasies already.

This man has weird psychological issues and needs therapy, I think, especially if he wants to salvage his relationship with you. His need to only eat to "survive", his skinny body, and his fetish for fat women all suggest he's got a deeply rooted mental issue about food and body size. I also think there's an abuse angle to this, as well. And the abuse is being targeted on you. Probably himself in a way, too, since he doesn't eat for pleasure, but loves women who do.

I hope you don't make yourself fat and miserable for your husband's sake. Get a therapist and work out these issues. If you can't handle them and him, consider divorce.