First of all I am DEEPLY SORRY for your LOSS, @Justaonony. I'm so sorry for what happened to your friend! As for you crying, I'd say that everyone deals with grief in his/her own unique way. You don't necessarely have to cry in response to a terrible event. Everyone is different and will have their own different reaction. It does seem however that the inability to cry is bothering you. Perhaps this is something worth discussing with an experienced therapist. I'd suggest to contact one, even to let him/her help you to grieve the loss of your friend. Please be kind to yourself. It is certainly not easy to deal with the Loss of a Loved Ones. I hope you'll be able to get the help you need. Please stay strong... things will get better. I am sure of that! Feel free to PM me ANYTIME when you need Advice and Support. I'm sure plenty of others will gladly help you as well! Most importantly, though, please be kind to yourself and allow yourself to take time to grieve your terrible Loss. Be kind to yourself! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH You, @Justaonony, Your Family, Your Friends and ALL Of Your Loved Ones! Please keep fighting and keep rocking like you're already wonderfully doing entirely on your own! PLEASE DO KEEP FIGHTING AND PLEASE DO KEEP ROCKING LIKE YOU'RE ALREADY WONDERFULLY DOING ENTIRELY ON YOUR OWN! I am TRULY, DEEPLY SORRY for your Loss!