My spirituality has never been consistent. I'll have weeks where I pray a lot but then have months where I don't pray at all!

In my youth, my mom had us attend church 3X a week. I sometimes wonder if not making my children attend church more did them a disservice. Perhaps. Yes, religion, like people has a dark side but religion at its best teaches us to treat others with kindness (treat others as we want to be treated), talks about goodness verses evil, helps us understand that the universe works in ways that we don't can't fathom, and teaches us to have trust that things will all work out for the good if we sow the right seeds (work towards the good)!

From the beginning, I intrinsically understood that everyone has both a good and bad side. I would lie awake at night worrying that I just wasn't a good person. Everyone would wonder why I didn't go done the isle at church volunteering to be baptized--most kids at my church did this around 12 years old. I waited until sixteen because I didn't think I could "walk the walk" and I did it at the spurt of the moment. Even after, I wondered if I sincerely believed and if it was really geniune (if it wasn't--it didn't really count in God's eyes). I probably felt this way because I am a very anxious person through and through!

I do believe there is a higher power (the universe and all its energy) that I don't understand and I would like to believe that that higher power is a loving God. Sometimes I actually feel connected to it but not that often. I also believe in the concept of free will to the extreme. We all have the capacity of good and evil and we will be happier if we develop our goodness and not give into our evil side. That the world is a better place when we are good. Good deed plant "good seeds" that spread happiness around the world and can benefit our ancesters, country and the world for decades and decades. We are not responsible for the sins of our fathers but we are effected by both the sins and grace of our fathers and so is world history!!