There is a very good chance that if I'm completely honest with my t tomorrow she will have me hospitalized. This would be my third this year, and I've had 15 or so prior hospitalizations in my life for psych reasons. I get that my own and others' safety is important, but I feel so pathetic because I keep making the same mistakes and I don't learn and I don't accept help before it gets to this point.
It just sucks because I know the hospital won't really help me get any better. I don't see how sitting on a locked unit doing nothing but coloring and pacing around will help me, but yet I am not safe anymore and I haven't been in a while.