yup... i know just what your saying... i don't like conflict either and am able to take responsibility in a heart beat... but i can say for you (not so easy for me) that it was't your fault... and that you don't deserve to be hurt anymore... it seems the memories my body holds and are more sensory then cognitive trigger the urge to cut... and are much harder to process... they leave me feeling emotions i have no clue how to make sense of... your right it's really sad that we re-victimize ourselves... i had never really thought of it that way before... i had always thought of it more as a way to protect myself to be honest... i know that sounds really warped... anyway take gentle care...lyn