I agree with the WISE and WONDERFUL -jimi, @Annoyedgrun84! You're not sabotaging yourself - it can be just hard to restart and to get used to some activities we haven't been doing for a LONG time! Please be kind to yourself and keep practicing! One step at the time, you'll get better at it I am SURE of that! Definitely keep practicing and let us know how it goes! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH You, @annoyedgrunt84, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Please keep fighting and keep rocking as much as you possibly can like you're already wonderfully doing entirely on your own! KEEP FIGHTING AND KEEP ROCKING!