my t tells me a story about peeling an onion... and how when you cut into the onion your eyes water and tear... you can tell yourself that you are not going to let it happen but when you cut into the onion you have a physiological response to the onion... you don't have control... it's like that when we were abused... our bodies are made to respond to that touch... just as they are made to cry when we cut into an onion... it's natural for children to seek out pleasurable experiences... even if they don't understand what is happening and it is harmful... that is how our bodies are made... as adults we should make healthier choices... but when you have been wounded you never learned to set boundries... stay safe...lyn