I spent today’s session talking about anger. R highlighted the multifaceted nature of my anger, and offered that it might have been less complex if somebody had actually died. She also observed a disconnect between what I was saying and my feelings, which led to an interesting discussion of what expressing anger looks like for me.
‘It’s loud…’ I laughed.

‘It’s loud…volatile?’

‘Volatile…it turns perfectly good people into cyclones.’

‘Loud, volatile, and cyclone-like…all things you aren’t.’

We talked more about the layers of anger, and I said that I might explore that more between sessions.
I had talked earlier in the session about my struggle to journal even though I know it is necessary for me. ‘When you write in your journal, write hard. Even use a few swear words if you need to.’
R sat opposite me as I talked about the differences between finding out that Chris was going to die, and being in and out of that situation.
We talked about my fear of hurting others with my anger, and at one point I said ‘I don’t go in for scripture, but…Take this cup from me.’
R gave me permission to express my anger in session if need be.