High school was an unmitigated disaster for me (the first of many to come.) I'm 71 years old now. And I still cringe at some of what I experienced. I don't know if there is a way to finally resolve these kinds of memories. Here are links to 4 articles, from PC's archives, that talk about how to cope with obsessive, intrusive, or just plain stuck thoughts. Hopefully something in them can be of help:
Coping with Obsessive Thoughts
How You Can Overcome Intrusive Thoughts | Dialectical Behavior Therapy Understood
5 Ways to Free Yourself From Dark and Obsessive Thoughts
9 Ways to Let Go of Stuck Thoughts
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"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last)
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