I think i completely flipped out....i don't remember writing this...but i do remember the feeling...because it is all to familiar....and i felt like i couldn't get back inside my body to stop anything from happening to me...i felt like i was just watching myself as a child be abused and i couldn't fight because i wasn't with my body...i know this sounds insane...and maybe i am crazy..but if feels so real when it happnes....i feel like i take myself away from the situation so i don't have to feel it..i can't feel any of the abuse.....but then sometimes i can see myself there and i just watch and cry....but i can't feel it..i just feel bad that it is happening to me..but like im looking at someone else who is me..and feeling bad for them....and i just watch...scared..not knowing what to do..but knowing im not feeling the pain....

crazy??

im so confused right now...i don't know why my mind is playing tricks on me...

i don't want to go to bed by myself at the moment coz i feel unsafe and scared...i feel like im going to be hurt...and i don't know why..coz it's irrational...i don't know if i should tell anyone of not..but i feel detached from my body..and it's not going away...

don't know what to do..and freakin out??