So today I had to set boundaries with two very manipulative people -- and it's exhausted me.

Manipulative person #1: the human resources assistant who trained me on the front desk phones at my week long temp job.

Manipulative person #2: my current roommate whose guest room I'm renting with my graduate school spring refund money from July - Oct 1st.

Today's events

TEMP JOB HELL:
Day 3 of my front desk temporary job (I started last Friday). The human resources assistant sat with me on Friday and trained me on the phones, which I picked up fast. She also showed me how to lock/unlock the company's front door and employee entrances when I arrive at 8 a.m. and leave at 5 p.m.

No problem...or so I thought.

Monday morning comes and I arrive at 8:00 a.m. ready to unlock the company's two doors, take the phones off of night, and turn on the computer. But the human resources assistant was there and already did it. THAT'S NOT PART OF HER JOB! Or they wouldn't have contacted a temp agency to hire a temp (me). She did it to me again today and I arrived at 7:50 a.m. but she had already done those tasks.

She undermined me. Why? I don't know. Because she's got serious control issues? who knows. But I told her boss about her undermining behavior and rude comments to me, because she shouldn't be acting so inappropriately with me, the temp like that. Obviously, she didn't like being told on, because she came out after my morning break and confronted me about it.

I was in the middle of answering phones so I just ignored her, telling her, "I'm sorry now is not a good time as I'm answering phones." She huffed and walked away. Later, she came out again to the receptionist area and tried to accuse me of not locking up last night after she went home, which was a total lie of course.

Then, she asked me if anyone had brought up projects for me to day WHEN SHE COULD CLEARLY SEE THAT I WAS STUFFING ENVELOPES for the marketing dept.,. I mean, WTH!!

So, I waited until she left at 4:30 p.m. and called her boss again, who asked me if she had ever apologized to me. I told her, no, she didn't apologize to me. Then, I regaled her boss with the passive aggressive stuff she pulled all day today with me.

And I asked her boss, "What should I do, if I show up at 7:50 a.m. tomorrow morning and she's done the opening tasks that your front desk receptionist is responsible for?" She told me to immediately go to her office, if this human resources assistant pulls that stunt again tomorrow.

I also reported this to my recruiter -- to cover my bases -- so that this crazy woman who is clearly trying to undermine me b/c she's crazy !! -- doesn't try to misrepresent my work performance (and she's not even my boss, her boss is my boss while I'm on this assignment).

So, I feel like I set good boundaries by not engaging in her failed attempts to confront me at the front desk today all those times, and just ignoring her and doing what I was supposed to be doing; answer phones/transfer calls, perform clerical projects as needed, etc.

ROOMMATE IS SADNESS ON A STICK
So, a month after I moved in to my roommate's house in the neighborhood and city where I spent my childhood, the seemingly normal vibe changed.

I knew she was recently divorced (a year), had a teenager, and a cat. I also knew she did not have a full-time job b/c of the creative type of work she does.

The vibe started normal enough; she would be gone during the day socializing or whatever, and sometimes would invite her friends over to her house. I spend most of my time between her house in my guest bedroom on the computer applying for jobs, or going to the coffee shop, library, or whatever. Her son was away at camp for 3 weeks, then spent 2 weeks with his dad out of town at his grandparent's (dad's parent's) farm.

Once her son came back in town, her behavior changed 100%. Suddenly, she refused to leave her bedroom to feed her cat, or take her son anywhere to do anything. She wouldn't even FEED her son meals; she'd weirdly text me, "Can you make my son a sandwich?" I was like, "who does she think I am, Mrs Garrett from Facts of Life?" Different Strokes indeed! What chou talkin' bout' Willis?!

I mean, she's in her mid-50s and acting like she's a paraplegic who can't leave her bedroom to care for her son or her cat. I put up with this nonsense for the past 3 weeks but today had enough. She texted me, asking me to buy her son some dinner (he was scheduled to stay with her this week) and I texted back, "No. Sorry. I have to watch my budget. Have you applied for SNAP food benefits yet? You should...then you would have the extra money. Thanks for understanding!"

She has been arguing with her ex-husband (they make their son stay in the ex-husband's car while they scream at each other in a 'war of the roses' fashion about money inside her house -- she has a ton of money in stocks etc. that she won't give to her ex-husband for child support or something I don't know I didn't understand everything as I was standing in her kitchen making my dinner while they screamed at each other) since her son came back with his dad from their road trip together to visit his grandparents. It's happened twice now.

I didn't know her ex-husband was coming over the first two times b/c my roommate didn't warn me. Maybe he surprised her. I don't know. But today, she texted me he would be there. Then had the gall to tell me to pick up take out dinner for her son, to which I said firmly and politely "No" via text.

I need her to give me a good roommate reference when I find my next place to live by October 1st. I think saying "no" to her was appropriate. Don't you? I think that was a perfectly reasonable, healthy boundary to set. I pay her rent, but I am not in any way required to be her 24/7 servant on call. She'd have to hire me and pay me an hourly wage for that service of grocery shopping for her SON. Jesus Christ. She should do that herself!!

And since I don't have a full-time job or any money until my fall grad school refund deposit, I am stuck living in her guest room. I am trying to be very polite with her but still have strong boundaries.

Just because I rent a room from her, does not give her the right to treat me like her damn servant b/c she is depressed about being divorced, not working, and whatever else (I don't know her well at all, we met through Facebook friends).

Clearly, she is a very needy person -- my roommate. She obviously won't seek help. I gave her handouts for mindfulness and I even gave her phone numbers to nearby walk-in clinics so she could pop in to talk to social workers for emotional support. I even gave her a crisis connection phone number. Did I have to do any of that? No. But I did thinking it would motivate her to stop the self-pity party of wallowing in her bedroom 24/7. I mean, I can't even imagine what impact that has on her teenage son.

I thought that the other roommate situation I had posted about before this summer seemed dicier than this one, because I had no idea this would be the outcome. She seemed to have it together on the surface.

Her cat's litterbox would be overflowing if I didn't clean it. Her cat would be dead if I didn't feed it. I bring in her mail and mow her lawn. I am her maid. But no more. I just have to figure out how to set better boundaries with her, that won't set her off into some hysterical melt down before I can find another place to move into in October b/c I'm broke right now.

I don't have anywhere else to go until I get that refund money in the fall. So I'm stuck in her guest room or I can always leave and sleep in my SUV for 6 weeks. In my sister's driveway (those are the conditions my sister set with me).