Hubby and I were doing what we used to do eons ago and we went for a ride. We went up the canyon where we used to live when we broke up and we stopped to see a friend of mine that was like a sister when we were next door neighbors. The last time I saw her was 5 yrs ago when my youngest got married. Hubby went to the door and knocked. This hooded figure stood at the door and they talked for a second or two but I couldn't tell who it was... maybe one of her sons all grown up. This hooded figure and hubby walked to the car and I was surprised to see that it was Suzie! She didn't act excited to see me and she sort of hung back from the car. I told her I was surprised that she didn't run out to meet me. Then it was that she came closer and I held my arms out the window. She returned the hug, but... That wasn't my Suzie! She got confused easily when I said things. She told hubby to not make her cry when me mentioned her daughter. She spent most of the time looking up to the hill behind her place. The tears welded up in her eyes several times. I mentioned something about how we used to yell at each other that we loved each other. She said she doesn't yell nice things anymore. She said she doesn't remember ever meeting my middle son. WHAT??? Anytime we needed help with one of our goats she was always over doing what she could or helping us! My Suzie isn't "there" anymore. I told her when things got dark to remember "Tomi loves me."

"Dark?" She didn't know what I meant. She asked me for a cigarrete. I asked her if she had stopped. All she said was "no." Before we left, she said "Why is it so hard for me to ask anyone for a cigarrette?" So I left her half a pack. She said she hadn't been out of the house for days. When I asked her if there was anything else I could do for her, she said, "Come by more ofter. All of you, together. Nobody likes me anymore."

I see red flags all over, but some red flags I don't recognize. What do they mean? Why didn't she understand what I was saying? Is it denial? Was she on drugs? What do I do besides going to see her often... QUITE OFTEN! That's not my Suzie! What happened to her? Where did she go?