I cleaned my foster daughter's room again today and found a few more of her things and felt such sadness. My son called from the other side of the country tonight and I ached to see him. He is all grown up. Mature and responsible and struggling with love issues. Thinking about coming home. My youngest daughter called a few times today, with HUMOR. I see her this weekend as I am spending it at college with her. I miss my children and I miss children so much. It was yesterday. They were little and we had foster kids and i needed SPACE. We made another room, we bought more beds. And then they grew up and we bought bigger beds and now they are gone and we are giving the beds away. Empty rooms everywhere. I want my children. I want to love on other peoples children who need it! I have some children I care for when I am called to. I love these little people. I can pull it together to read, do puzzles and play board games for 9 hours with a sick kiddo. I want to have more kiddos.

Sadly it is too late for me. And due to disability I am not allowed to foster. I miss my kids, I miss kids. I want my kids home.