Quote:
Originally Posted by Snap66
Stroking hair & face etc imo is something teens do with first boy/girl friends.
IDK but it sounds like he's new to all this... maybe inexperienced?
....and coming up for air after 5 seconds., giving you the "I didn't like the taste" I'd say that's his excuse for not knowing what to do.
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Thank you for your reply. We are both very physical and we touch each other all the time. I don't think stroking hair and face is a sign of being inexperienced, but the rest of it sure points in that direction. I want to have a small conversation about past relationships with him anyway, because I'd like to know a bit more about his past and I want to tell him a bit about mine. I think a lot he does or knows comes from watching porn. He also comes from a country were sex before marriage is not accepted and things have to be done in secret. I need to make him feel safe and make him see that there is a difference between porn and reality. All I want is to feel close to him.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill3
Fair enough and thank you so much for being patient with me. 
It seems to me that whether or not things can change depends on him. If he is truly a thoroughly great guy he will have his ego under control, he will accept loving constructive criticism, and you will see growth. If not, he won’t and you won’t.
If he is loving only when not being asked to change things, though, well, then I guess you would need to weigh the pluses and minuses. If nothing changes in a significant way, how enjoyable/welcome/acceptable/tolerable/fulfilling would a long-term relationship with him be for you? |
Of course, I am thankful that you replied. I kept thinking about it. In my past relationships I always felt like my needs were not being met. Not sexually, but in general. Maybe I have high expectations, but I really long for a relationship in which the other person cares about my needs.
My boyfriend really is a good guy. There was something else that I was not happy with: I told him once and he changed it immediately. So I do feel like I am important to him.
A good friend told me that I am sometimes too drastic and impatient. If I want something, I want it NOW and I want things to go MY way. So that is really something I need to work on. In this case, I have to be patient and understanding.
Again, thank you both for your answers. I see clearer now what is going on on the emotional level.