Thanks. Yes, I kind of like her as a person but there´s always a downside to meet with a counsellor who shares. Even if I prefer that before a blank slate T. I forgot to mention that this counsellor isn´t seeing me for therapy but more of "supportive chats" up until I get to see a psychotherapist. That is, my counsellor isn´t a therapist.

I won´t see this counsellor for chats anymore when meeting with my new therapist and by that I can leave behind what she tells me, what she complains about and such. But I realise that I will never find a T who I can feel connected to in that sense that she has lived a similar life as mine. I think I run for a kind of illusion, that I will finally find someone who understands me and who understands my life conditions. But I won´t.

I´ve seen so many different people through mental health care, both for therapy, brief chats and so on and when looking them up afterwards, they all live on "fancy" addresses, they have high wages, they are almost always married.

A therapist might offer me some of their therapeutic skills and hopefully I can learn how to live a bad life without becoming more depressed and anxious than I already am. I will never succeed in anything and by that I have to learn how to be indifferent to that fact. I can´t strive for things and become upset when I learn a T is married or owns a flat.