Welcome, @Blackened22! I am SO SORRY for what you're going through! I COMPLETELY agree with what ALL the other WISE, WONDERFUL POSTERS have already wisely said BETTER THAN I EVER COULD! Please be kind to yourself and DEFINITELY reach out to a Therapist or a Doctor or ANY KIND OF HELP! Definitely reachout for support! That's the way to go in my opinion! It seems like you're struggling with Depression so you're DEFINITELY on the right Forum! PLEASE DO KEEP FIGHTING AND PLEASE DO KEEP ROCKING! Please keep posting here AS MUCH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN AND WANT TO as we're ALL here to Help You and Support You. Feel free to PM me ANYTIME when you need Advice and Support. Please keep us posted and updated about your situation if you can! I am SURE plenty of others will gladly help you as well! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH You, @Blackened22, Your Family, Your Friends and ALL Of Your Loved Ones! Please keep fighting and keep rocking as much as you possibly can like you're already WONDERFULLY doing ALL and ENTIRELY by YOURSELF! PLEASE DO KEEP FIGHTING AND PLEASE DO KEEP ROCKING AS MUCH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN LIKE YOU'RE ALREADY WONDERFULLY DOING ENTIRELY ON YOUR OWN! KEEP FIGHTING AND KEEP ROCKING!