I think I understand that aspect of it rather well. I can, with a good deal of accuracy, identify what emotions someone is feeling, articulate it, and either predict or influence the outcome. It isn't that difficult when it comes to other people.

What I fail to understand is my own emotions. Which of them I have, which I don't, how they compare with others' experiences, how they work, what summons them. The more I try to pay attention to it, to introspect and gain some sense of control over them, the harder it seems to get. It's like trying to catch wind.

Let me use an analogy. It's like I'm a blind kid who aced the art history test. I can identify a Rembrandt, and I can explain to you in excruciating detail what distinguishes Caravaggio from Gentileschi. But it isn't because I've seen the paintings myself. I can only go by what others have told me. So I experience these things and learn about them in a very different way than most people do.

I think this is why I gravitate toward psychopaths. When a psychopath explains emotions, it makes sense because we experience emotions in a similar way. Fear is exciting. Horror is amusing. Boredom is torture. Love is a myth. Empathy is a tool to be used or disregarded as one sees fit.