It doesn't sound like you're messed up, @5stacks! I am REALLY SO VERY, VERYMUCH TRULY, DEEPLY SORRY for what you're going through though! You're probably just an empath like Fighter4ever has already wisely said better than I ever could. The only thing that worries me is that you've said that you also manipulate and harass people. Can you elaborate on that? In any case I HIGHLY SUGGEST to see a professional therapist and start working with Him/Her to get at the bottom of this! He/She's there to help you after all! I hope you'll be able to work on what you're struggling with! Please definitely seek ALL th ehelp you can get and I hope you have SOMEONE IRL support you as well, such as Family members or Friends! Feel free to PM me ANYTIME as well! I'm ALWAYS available for you when you need Advice and Support! I am SURE ALL THE OTHERS WILL ALSO GLADLY AND WONDERFULLY HELP YOU AS WELL! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH You, @5stacks, Your Family, Your Friends and ALL Of Your Loved Ones! Please do keep fighting and do keep rocking as much as you possibly can like you're already wonderfully doing ALL AND ENTIRELY BY YOURSELF adn ALL AND ENTIRELY ON YOUR OWN!