Hello! My boyfriend of almost 3 years, struggles with military PTSD, but also says he has PTSD from his past relationships. What i mean by this, is when we are on the phone, and if I happen to laugh a certain way or happen to be a little breathy sometimes, he says it triggers his PTSD because he was in a 4 year relationship with somebody who would sometimes be on the phone with him and giggle or breathe a little weird if she was with somebody else. even worse, having sex with someone else. now I am in no way doubting that this was traumatic, but he says this is the reason he asks me questions like "who are you with?" "are you by yourself" and has even accused me of having sex with somebody while we're on the phone. he does this in a very accusing and a lot of the time, hostile tone. which puts me on the defensive. and when I've stood up for myself and said, "I'm a different person" "I shouldn't pay for the actions of someone else" or simply "no I'm not with anyone else", and express my offense, he tells me that i just dont understand PTSD. So, I took it upon myself to seek professional therapy with somebody who has worked with many veterans with PTSD, to get an expert's perspective and learn more about PTSD with the intention of hopefully being able to approach my boyfriend and deescalate things in a way that really works. (I've tried the sweet comforting approach, the short, straight up approach, etc) and it always ends with him yelling or telling me something like "**** this" and hanging up. and then never getting an apology... My therapist told me that PTSD at its core is feeling like you're in a life-threatening situation, being fearful for your life. and told me the symptoms of PTSD. my boyfriend definitely has PTSD, he has all of the symptoms and I never doubted this. but he claims that him getting scared about me being with someone else is among those symptoms or at least branches from his PTSD, my therapist said that is not the case, that it's just abusive and controlling behavior that he may unfortunately be pinning on PTSD... she gave me some websites to do my own research on PTSD, (mayo clinic, webMd), and they both said PTSD can cause flashbacks and memories of traumatic events which can cause anxiety, and that seemed to make sense with my boyfriends particular issues on the phone with me... so is it his PTSD? or is he (intentionally or not) using it as an excuse? does this make his behavior understandable and justifiable? how do I go about talking to him about this and helping him? I feel so lost and just want to help him. Shouldnt he trust me by now? Thank you in advance for responses xxx