Oh my god, could I be any more obvious and cliche? I'm doing exactly the same thing with you that I told you about with my mother.

Instead of being 4 and calling her back to my room over and over every night because of monsters or wanting to be comforted or whatever I was texting you.
I wasn't supposed to call for her. I'm not supposed to text you about anything other than scheduling and other practical matters. Being good means not begging for your attention and caring over text, respecting boundaries. Not asking for too much.

But there was the same desperation. I realized right after I sent it. Writing what was basically "I'm sorry, I know I'm not supposed to do this but I was really really hurting and I don't want that to be the last thing said when I have the next four weeks to convince myself that you don't care, I'm sorry."

I'm asking for a comfort that I'm not supposed to let myself reach out for, wanting too much
I'm not 4 anymore.
But please care about me.
Please comfort and reassure me.
Please don't be mad at me.
I'm sorry.